HAGPOO FUEL
HagPoo is becoming the newest coal replacement in the Scottish Highlands.
Years ago crofters in the Highlands and Islands would dry cow pats for burning in their wood stoves. My grandmother told me how she would be sent out with a shovel to turn over the pats to dry them on the underside and then once dry she would have to collect them all and stack them in the byre. It's because of this ancient method that HagPoo came about.
The RSPCH* was able to persuade the government to ban Wild Haggis hunting and open a sanctuary for Haggi on the small island of Gigha (Gee-ahh) off the coast of Kintyre. The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Haggi tried to get funding from Europe to open other sites around Scotland but were unsuccessful as the Germans had never heard of the Haggis.
Hamish MacSporran from the small town of Auchterarder heard about the plight for funding and being a biological engineer came up with the idea of HagPoo. He began work on Haggis Droppings in 1998 but the mixture now used was perfected in 2004.
We interviewed Hamish for this website and since Hagpoo has no website because they can't get internet or phone access where they are we thought we'd help them out.
STH: "Hamish, thanks for meeting with us."
HMac: "Ciamar a tha sibh?" STH: "Tha gu math, tapadh leibh...can we do this in English though?"
HMac: "Aye, nae worries! Ye ken, It hard tae believe that a wee idea that I had could bring aboot so much relief to the Wild Haggis and that they are, in a way, supporting themselves"
STH: "So tell us, what is HagPoo?"
HMac "Well it's just like the name says, Haggis Poo!"
STH: "There must be more involved than just poo?"
HMac: "Oach aye, the 'recipe' uses Haggis droppings, thistle sap, scotch mist and another secret ingredient that I can't tell you..haha"
STH: "How do you collect the Scotch Mist?"
HMac: "ahh, this is a delicate process but I've found that without the mist Hagpoo doesn't have the same binding capacity and will break easily. Our collection methods are a trade secret and we can't reveal it because we'd have all kinds of Sasanachs coming up here to collect it and we can't have that!"
STH: "Can you tell us about the mixing process?"
HMac: "Aye, well, once you mix the ingredients together in the vat they are pumped into the fire barn where they are cut into brick shapes, which is the best burning shape we've found, and then heat treated for a few days till they are bone dry. Then we box them and send them to our clients.
STH: "How does one become a client?"
HMac: "Well it's a very privileged list, we only need to make enough money to keep the sanctuaries open and of course pay the staff so we are a fairly small operation and if we open up more sanctuaries then we'll open the product up for more clients.
STH: "How does HagPoo compare with fossil fuels like coal?"
HMac: "Oh well, it burns about 3 times hotter and for about 5 times longer than coal so it is a fantastic substance and we hope to be able to make a liquid version to use as a petrol substitute, but that is years away yet."
STH: "Don't you think that HagPoo could help the fossil fuels decline and save money and also save the environment?"
HMac: "Well it's this way, Scotland produces Oil, coal, peat and natural Gas and what happened? All the foreigners came in and nicked it! So we are keeping this one in Scotland FOR Scotland!"
STH: "Thanks for you time Mr MacSporran, we wish you all the best with production and the sanctuaries!"
HMac: "Aye, it was a pleasure, a' the best yersel!
So there you have it, insight into the newest natural fuel in Scotland. If you are considering opening up a Haggis Sanctuary or starting your own Haggis farm get in touch with Hamish to find out about funding and eliminating your heating costs by using HagPoo.
*Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Haggi
The RSPCH* was able to persuade the government to ban Wild Haggis hunting and open a sanctuary for Haggi on the small island of Gigha (Gee-ahh) off the coast of Kintyre. The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Haggi tried to get funding from Europe to open other sites around Scotland but were unsuccessful as the Germans had never heard of the Haggis.
Hamish MacSporran from the small town of Auchterarder heard about the plight for funding and being a biological engineer came up with the idea of HagPoo. He began work on Haggis Droppings in 1998 but the mixture now used was perfected in 2004.
We interviewed Hamish for this website and since Hagpoo has no website because they can't get internet or phone access where they are we thought we'd help them out.
STH: "Hamish, thanks for meeting with us."
HMac: "Ciamar a tha sibh?" STH: "Tha gu math, tapadh leibh...can we do this in English though?"
HMac: "Aye, nae worries! Ye ken, It hard tae believe that a wee idea that I had could bring aboot so much relief to the Wild Haggis and that they are, in a way, supporting themselves"
STH: "So tell us, what is HagPoo?"
HMac "Well it's just like the name says, Haggis Poo!"
STH: "There must be more involved than just poo?"
HMac: "Oach aye, the 'recipe' uses Haggis droppings, thistle sap, scotch mist and another secret ingredient that I can't tell you..haha"
STH: "How do you collect the Scotch Mist?"
HMac: "ahh, this is a delicate process but I've found that without the mist Hagpoo doesn't have the same binding capacity and will break easily. Our collection methods are a trade secret and we can't reveal it because we'd have all kinds of Sasanachs coming up here to collect it and we can't have that!"
STH: "Can you tell us about the mixing process?"
HMac: "Aye, well, once you mix the ingredients together in the vat they are pumped into the fire barn where they are cut into brick shapes, which is the best burning shape we've found, and then heat treated for a few days till they are bone dry. Then we box them and send them to our clients.
STH: "How does one become a client?"
HMac: "Well it's a very privileged list, we only need to make enough money to keep the sanctuaries open and of course pay the staff so we are a fairly small operation and if we open up more sanctuaries then we'll open the product up for more clients.
STH: "How does HagPoo compare with fossil fuels like coal?"
HMac: "Oh well, it burns about 3 times hotter and for about 5 times longer than coal so it is a fantastic substance and we hope to be able to make a liquid version to use as a petrol substitute, but that is years away yet."
STH: "Don't you think that HagPoo could help the fossil fuels decline and save money and also save the environment?"
HMac: "Well it's this way, Scotland produces Oil, coal, peat and natural Gas and what happened? All the foreigners came in and nicked it! So we are keeping this one in Scotland FOR Scotland!"
STH: "Thanks for you time Mr MacSporran, we wish you all the best with production and the sanctuaries!"
HMac: "Aye, it was a pleasure, a' the best yersel!
So there you have it, insight into the newest natural fuel in Scotland. If you are considering opening up a Haggis Sanctuary or starting your own Haggis farm get in touch with Hamish to find out about funding and eliminating your heating costs by using HagPoo.
*Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Haggi